Psychic, Powerless, Another Afternoon's Job Search

Here I sit, not broken-hearted,
Came to find work,
And only, well, found distraction.

You would think that having the house to myself would help me dive whole-hog into a productive search for gainful, full-time employment. Music usually helps, so I have a Pandora station playing on my iPod, while I look through employment boards and sites (He's going for distance, he's going for speed...), hoping to find a creative and challenging position, where I can further use and hone my talents, striving to better myself, while being a valuable member of a team (If we win, you must take your sorry ass to Hell...). Well, I got the music in me, and it is more engaging than the search for the dream job.

Let's turn and face a painful fact: the dream job is that rare animal, and many folks will only catch a glimpse of it. Is it that some of us did not have a vision of our adulthood, propelling us along a path, which led us into self-fulfillment, incomparable bliss and a comfortable lifestyle? Not counting myself among the demographic, who focussed on that dream job at a tender age (A quarter of my life gone by, and I met all my friends online). These are very driven people, who sacrifice and plan with a singular purpose, to reach that peak. I might have just slighted myself. Go figure.

I have had rewarding experiences with a number of employers: moments, where I solved a customer's dilemma, experienced being part of teams at the completion of various difficult projects, seeing admiration on the faces of onlookers, and performed work, where discussing tasks in technical language caused uninitiated listeners' eyes to glaze over (or maybe that's just how I communicated certain processes to others, especially if you asked one of my past Sales Managers, and that wasn't a lyric). Funny, how some of those jobs have been on-call, volunteer, temporary or term-type positions.

Of course, you don't stay employed by complaining about frustration and a lack of fulfillment. The reason that you were hired was because you were qualified and made a positive impression (I'll wait to the day's end when the moon is high, and then I'll rise with the tide with a lust for life...). How you stay employed is largely up to you. Eventually, the work term ends, or that volunteer position does not turn into a paid job.

Meanwhile, the phone rings, giving me the opportunity to substitute teach later this week, followed by a call from my son, saying he is about an hour away. The dog wakes up from her nap and comes over to me for a couple pats. I could weigh under-employment against unscheduled, free time and solitude against the company of others. Half-full or half-empty? Neither is empty (If he thinks too long, whole globe is in peril. If you don't shed a tear at the end, your heart's sterile). I continue my search, so I off I go.